The end of the beginning

A couple of days ago was the end of my three month challenge. During the three month challenge we are supposed to stay in village for the whole time. I did not exactly do that because I traveled to the Kombo area a few times, for Christmas, and for taking money out of the bank. As for life in village, it is much better. The first couple of months were extremely difficult because I did not know how I fit into my community and my family. I could not speak to them, and I got flustered trying to respond to people asking me to buy attaya (a tea), sugar, bread, barbed wire, or anything else.

In the past few weeks I have started to feel more comfortable with my family. I will probably never be one of the them in the family because I will always be seen as the toubab (white person) who has money. And for the most part it is true, I have a lot more money than them and the dollar can go further here. I can buy a candy for a nickel and two pounds of potato for under a dollar. While I may never be part of the family, I can now feel accepted by the community and I am starting to feel that way. The women joke with me (a sign they like me), and the small kids will run up to grab my hand or hug my legs, which makes me feel more at home.

The first couple of months were hard and I questioned myself how I was going to live this way for two years, but now I do not question myself as much. I still have my bad days where I wonder if I am wasting my time here, but while I may not accomplish that much work project- wise, I am starting to see how the cultural exchange will be invaluable. I am learning how people think, view their lives and their challenges. In a sense it makes me appreciate America that much more. People here feel if they work harder there will be no economic reward for their extra effort. They lack motivation. It seems to a certain extent that people have accepted their fate. I have to admit it is sometimes difficult for me to see how they can improve their lives.

My questions have now turned to how I can help these people and what is the best way to do it. Motivating them to work and believe that together they can make their lives better will be my biggest struggle. People are not taught to think critically or analyze what is good or bad. Therefore, I will try to get the people to look at their lives carefully and see how they can make it better. I will probably work more with people individually like how to do orchard and cashew planting, and beekeeping. Working with communities or groups is more difficult because organizing people in a group is extremely difficult, and communal ownership creates problems when something breaks. Usually it never gets fixed. I also need to figure out if I want to apply for grants and funding because while it can give the community a leg up, it does not necessarily help them in the long run. Many times the projects fail because people do not have a sense of ownership, and will wait for someone else like an NGO to fix it. Also when an NGO gives a community something such as a garden, it prevents the people from trying to analyze and solve problems on their own. My debate currently will be to figure out how to help them. I really want to help them help themselves.