Living in a small village with a host family has been a blessing and a curse. I would not trade this experience, but it has been difficult. I wrote this blog post a couple weeks ago, but time has given me some perspective. My old post was basically a rant of my frustrations. The past few weeks gave me time to gain a better understanding of the culture.
In village I am living with a host family, but I have been trying to figure out if they view me as a renter or as part of the family. I am sure it will change over time, but in the beginning I definitely felt as a renter. I have been told Gambians will never view me as one of them because I am white which automatically sets me apart as a rich man. Only time will tell how close I become with my family, but I think I am starting to feel more comfortable with them.
Another source of frustration comes from my family and villagers asking me for things such as a bandaids, my phone, a papaya, or attaya. It is difficult because at first I thought they targeted me because I am a toubab, a rich white person, but I have started to notice people ask each for things all the time. The difficult part is that I will always have money on my phone, bandaids, or medicine which most villagers will not. I cannot give it to one person without everyone asking me for it, so I have to say no, but in Gambian culture I cannot say no. I need to find an excuse to say no such as "I do not have" or joke back, but it is difficult for me to tell people I do not have it when I do. I always feel guilty afterward. If I leave the village, I can guarantee I will be asked by someone for money, bread, candy, or something else. I have grown accustomed to it because it no longer bothers me, but it is definitely an annoyance.
At first I thought the men in the Gambia were lazy. People here are always saying the following: America is good, Gambia is bad;
America is better than The Gambia; The Gambia has no money.
What frustrated me is that I saw men not working, drinking attaya (People spend about an hour or two sitting, talking and brewing tea. They do this at all times of the day, after breakfast, afternoon, and night. I consider it Gambia's national past time) and complaining they had a lot of work such as fencing to make. I am starting to realize the men are not necessary lazy just unmotivated. I have heard men say if I went to America I would work hard and make a lot of money. They say in the Gambia I work hard, but I have nothing. My host father told me he use to cut wood to sell for firewood and to fix radios, but he does not have money to show from it. He now just farms. I think they do not see the benefit of working hard. It is something we take for granted in America. I assume if I work hard in America, I can make money; but I think most people in the Gambia do not feel the same way.
So where does that leave me? After two months in village I am starting to feel comfortable with the villagers. My language knowledge is increasing and I am starting to understand better what people want (well, at least the small amount I can understand). I have set my boundaries high in village such as not letting kids in my house, only now eating with my family, and resisting giving my family presents. Current volunteers have told me not to give too much or the family will start to expect presents. And I guess I am also learning to come up with excuses...
Thursday, February 14, 2008
A Blessing and A Curse
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4 comments:
On the issue of being unmotivated, that is true in many countries (e.g., Brasil), and even in America, especially among the poor and uneducated (sometimes the reason for gangs). There are people who don't work hard because they think that they won't make enough money to make a difference, thus they work just enough to survive or become homeless (and get from the state). As you say, it is a difficult barrier to break, unless you really provide them the means to improve. Of course, there are always a few who push through but I believe that happens there too, folks that go to school, learn English, and end up going to the town to improve their odds.
I am very proud of you! I know it is hard to get used to the way you must live there! But it sounds like you are doing well! You will make a big impact on the people in the end. I am sure of it!
On a side note...HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! I miss you!
If I put myself in their place, I may feel the same; it is a very harsh reality.
I understand the challenge you have of what to do to try to help them... Keep in mind that sometimes a small thing may go a long way.
You may set an example, be a role model, motivate the children - those are probably the best to work with since they aren't set in their ways yet.
As we know, education goes a long way, inspire them to study (even if they are grown up by the time they have the money) and look for opportunities.
Keep up the hope and the spirits!!!
We are very proud of your choices.
When reading your blog, I remembered the town where my parents live in Brazil. There is a lot of poor people there and so you see a lot of people hanging out in bars all day long (there is one bar per block). To make matters worst, they don't drink tea obviously, but alcohol. My dad works in reforesting and he was telling me the other day that when he hires people to work certain jobs, he needs to be careful. If he pays them more, they will work less since they already got enough money for alcohol and food. So, let's say, you expect someone to work for 20 hours, if you pay more, they will only work 10 hours since they already have enough money for the bare living. There is really no reason to make more money since that is not going to make a big difference (in their mind) at the end of the day. Motivation is a big problem. There is really not much to aspire to once you have no education or feel there is not much more out there than your eyes can see. That's really sad. On the other hand, I have been lending money through Kiva.org to people that want to have a better life despite of all the poverty around them. It is amazing what small business enterpreneurs can do ...
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